Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Spiral Road

Do you ever get the feeling that you simply want to drop everything and vanish somewhere, where no one, and nothing, could ever get to hurt you? I do, and today is that day. I wish I were in a place where there is silence, away from all the noise, pains and worries. I don't know why. But right now I have nothing much to say. But I feel so much.

I was so overwhelmed today. I guess whatever strength I have stored inside is finally crushing down. For a few days now, I have been frustrated with couple of things. There are issues I have been working on and it seems that I am not doing a good job. And this morning, I came to work 30 minutes late than I should have. I felt bad because I could tell that my boss was not happy about it. I hate being late. We have so much going on in the office because our new branch in Woodmore, Maryland is opening very soon. Then came frustrations one after the other. And before I was off, I just didn't have the energy anymore. I was exhausted. I felt I needed some fresh air, so I took a drive to nowhere through the countryside around here. I didn't know where I was going, I only knew I did not want to go east or south so I took road after unknown road, just wishing to be lost and to disappear...eventually all roads lead to somewhere and all too soon I found myself on a road that led back here. I couldn't retrace my route again if I had to, all I know is that there is no road that lets me disappear from my mind, from my frustrations, and my pains. Even the thought of home is not comforting right now...

I am tired, and so I feel like making the clock stop working, freezing for a moment. Gotta breathe some fresh air.

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