The Small Things In Life

"Live for what is real to you. Live for what truly matters to you."
Just a few days ago while vacationing in my bestfriend's summer home in an affluent neigborhood in LaGrange, Georgia I found myself slipping into this state of mind. I mean really, what's life's point? Everyday spent futilely doing work that will only help us get more money, that will help us to afford all luxuries in life, and then we die, after a mere 80 years or so.

But what are the things that are real and truly matters to me?

Sometimes life gets so busy, engulfing and chaotic it is easy to think you have time for only the BIG STUFF. The new car, a successful business, a huge bank savings account, the ideal relationship with a significant other, the nicest house on the block, the latest fashions ....But for me, one thing that makes life as wonderful as it is, are the “small stuffs.” After all, big things are made up of the smaller ones.

I remind myself in everyday situations to embrace those small, often overlooked things that bring so much joy to me — my love of jazz & country music, not only because I think the music is awesome, but also because of where that love came from. I have fond memories of riding my horse named Mula, back when I was a teenager in my parent's farm. Country music reminds me of those hills and valleys, streams and rivers that we travelled early morning & late afternoon. And oh, how I miss those smell coming from the corn & ricefields.

It’s the small, heart & rose tattoo that I have on my left arm. Not because I think it looks attractive on me but because of the feeling of gaining back my self esteem, my independence & the freedom from a heartbreaking marriage. My ex would have never given me permission to have any tattoo anywhere on my body.

It’s the smell of an everyday item and the memory that accompanies it — my sunblock cream because it reminds me of being at Kalsangi Golf Course, Olaer swimming resort or Gumasa beach with my family back home or a fresh, sliced tomato because it takes me back to my grandpa's garden in the summertime where he had the tastiest pineapples and tomatoes in town (at least for me).

It’s walking through the bookstore any time between mid-April to late May and seeing all the school supplies, not because I’m there to buy any for myself but because I remember the excitement of going back to school when I was a student, and seeing the faces of my daughters when they were little girls shopping with that same feeling.

It’s the precisely placed "I LOVE JESUS" sticker on the back of the vehicle I wait behind in traffic. Though I’d rather not be sitting at the red light, that small sticker is a symbol to me of the faith & source of strength shared by many Filipinos.

Logically, focusing on the small things makes sense. When you have a huge goal or dream, starting with the small details is what makes them successful. Any journey starts from a single step.

The little things. It’s waking up much earlier than I am used to, but knowing I am about to sit with my daughter for coffee before she goes to work makes it more than worth it.

It’s remembering your friends’ birthdays, sending that one more e-mail or note when you’re ready to rest for the day. It’s the enjoyment of showing the world your superstar skills even if you are just in front of your own mirror at home with nobody around.

It’s waving as I drive past the sweaty, weary and tired construction workers on the side of the road just to give them a smile. It’s riding around in the car with my daughters, because we need to catch up. With no worry about today’s pricey gasoline or our to-do lists, this small thing is no “small thing” to take for granted.

Whether it is an old photograph, a specific area of town, an aroma, a brief memory, a few minute chat with a friend, a simple "I Love You" text to surprise your love one... It is always worth to embrace the small things that bless everyday life.

This Ones For You

When people have shared experiences in the past, meet again and realized that they can't be together even if they still love each other and must part, there is a feeling of great sadness. Saying goodbye to people that we love and feel connected to is an occasion of somber reflection and not an easy situation to be in. It is hard to imagine not seeing them ever again, and yet we have to go on separate ways. It is comforting to know that even if you might not see each other again and you will be separated forever, you will always be in each other's hearts, and at least the friendship has to be nurtured. It is for those who are in this situation that I wrote this poem:

We are standing here and yet
Not knowing what to say
Has anything really changed at all?
We age slowy and live some years.

No longer are we star crossed
but we both know it feels the same
but really, what is the choice to make?
I chose the life I live, as you did your own.


My eyes are blinded by my unshed tears,
but at last this time I see
I guess it was not meant to be,
As it wasn't in the past.

Thought you'd ask for forgiveness
But then, what is there to forgive
Nothing I hear will take these words
And change them from Goodbye.

I'd ask you to always remember
the good times and the friendship
I said I'd always love you
Who knows what the future holds?

Sail on, and find your shore
I ask you not to cry, please just try
Tomorrow will be better
Cause true love is never ending!!

The Choice I Made

Recently I've found myself having to make a seemingly very difficult decision in life. As I have heard many times, life is sometimes too tough and often throws us challenges which are too difficult for us to handle. So we try to avoid it, try to push it aside, never confront it or put it at the back of our mind and deal with it later. This was what happened to me a few days ago. I was faced with a situation where I had to make a life changing decisions. The more I try to avoid facing the challenge, the more it creates a problem for me and making it hard for me to make a smart and quick decision which was very important at that point. I spent countless hours thinking about it, contemplating all of the options, and trying to sort out all of the complex emotions that go along with the decision I had to make. I made pro and con lists, took a long drive, wrote down my feelings until I could come to a place where I could be comfortable with the decision that I have to make. The question that was bugging me those times was, how can I be sure that it is the right decision, and how can I possibly understand the outcome of something that is as unpredictable as life itself? The result---I got sick! Too much pressure and stress made my stomach upset and I didn't sleep one whole night. I felt miserable. I got exhausted and drained. I thought I was worn out. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. There was nothing I felt like doing.

The truth is, I really believe that there should be no rushing or shortcuts in making life changing decisions. And there is no right or wrong way to make a decision, and despite my attempt to predict the outcome, there are so many variables in my life that it was nearly impossible to know where my path will take me. But I knew I had to make a decision. I knew at that moment that the only thing I can do is make the best decision I knew how to make at the time. Making a decision can be a difficult process, especially if you are dealing with a situation that is affecting you mentally and emotionally.

I decided to confront my dilemma. Whatever gives me more happiness and peace of mind, I have to take it. I told myself that if I end up hurting someone, I need to see if I can make up for that. Its never possible to make everyone happy, so I have to see what and how much other people make a difference in my life to figure out the decision I have to make.

Indeed its not until we deal with the challenge that is facing us and make decisions about it that true liberation and the possibility to change our reality arises. Support of families, friends and love ones also plays a very vital role in helping us go through the process. I am very blessed to have family and friends who let me know they are always there for me and a love and partner who always understands and supports me in anything that I am going through in my life.

I finally made one of the hardest decisions that I ever had. It is an awesome liberation when I think about it because it means that the outcome of my choices or decision is not really that important. What's important is unveiling another aspect of who I am, what I am and what is really more important to me at this point. I believe, life is all about making choices, we get to choose one among the many, and the one we choose defines our future and destiny..

Touching The Moon

Yesterday as I was flying back from Houston, Texas for my college reunion last weekend, I couldn't stop thinking that this reunion felt way too short. Even though the attendance turnout was lower than expected, I have to say it was enjoyable and very fruitful. I would have enjoyed another evening or two of more conversations, laughs and reminiscing with all of my fellow alumni, but at the same time, I was so glad to be home now.

One thing that struck me during our gathering was how much down to earth almost everyone was. Instead of people flaunting their status in life, most everyone was more anxious to talk about life in the campus back then & reminisce the experiences we all had been together, discuss how our families have been flourishing, the travels and experiences we've lived, our dreams and aspirations for our alma mater and country in general. I really felt a sense that everyone had been able to let their hair down and just enjoy the reunion without any concern over status, job, wealth, looks, etc.

I was also struck with these thoughts as well. I talked to so many people I never really had a chance to know at all in college days and was amazed at what great personalities so many of them have and how much they have gone in their lives. And oh my gosh! I finally realized I was sorrounded by very nice and smart people. It was really a very refreshing feeling to have the opportunity to reconnect and get to know them more this time. I am enjoying their friendships now. Many of us had some great friendships back then but somehow we just let it slip away. Back then there was no text messaging and no email. After more than two decades had passed, one thing happened to me as I bet it did to many. I heared many people at reunions said that they genuinely wanted to stay in touch. I just hope that now that the reunion was over, everybody will get caught right back up in their normal life, but those good intentions won't be forgotten.

I for one would really like to resurrect old friendships with many MSUans whom I've known for 20+ years, and for many of them I talked to for the first time last weekend, I hope to start brand new friendships. I hope that by the time our next reunion comes (2011 in Chicago, Illinois), I'll be able to proudly say that I have a great many new friends that I've stayed in touch with these past two years.

This reunion was just a beginning for all MSUans not only in the US but throughout the world. We all know we have a big task at hand--to help the young ones back home who are poor but deserving to achieve their highest potential and continue setting the standard of excellence both in our personal & professional life and service to our fellowmen and our country for which the universtiy stands for.

some of the reunion photos I took:

Miss Batch 80's dancing the Philippine national dance called Tinikling:

Native costume night:


Cowboy Night:
the batch 80's:
Batch 80's ladies with then AVP-Ruffy Ignacio:
Tess is my kababayan & batchmate from Gensan who came here just to attend the reunion:
Contestants for Mr. & Ms. MSU e!Village Int'l, hahaha!: