My Philippine Adventure Part 2

My recent vacation in the Philippines was truly a life changing experience for me. It was very short and how I wished I could have stretched the time a little bit more. There are people very close to me that I didn’t get the chance to see or bond with; like my brother who was out of the country for a work related trip, my sister who is in the Monastery, and one of my closest friends whom I never get the chance to meet and talk in spite of the fact that she was just in the city the whole time I was there.  Being a positive person and always looking at the brighter side of life, I didn’t allow these setbacks to affect the quality time I spent with my family and closest friends and have fun with them.

But just like a story that has a beginning, the end has to come. The most painful part of short vacation is the parting time. That morning I was leaving, my granddaughter Arielle was watching me doing my last minute packing. Out of nowhere she asked me “mammo, where are you going? Why are you packing your toothbrush and toothpaste? I answered her, “baby, it’s time for mammo to go back to the States. She answered, ‘mammo, please take me to the US, I want to go with you.” My gosh, I could not describe the pain I felt when I heard her said those words. Those pleading words broke my heart. I could not stop my tears from falling. Then she started crying repeatedly asking me to take her to the US. I tried to gather all my strength so she wouldn’t see me crying. Then I told her, Baby I cannot take you to the US, and I have to go back because your mommy is alone. She is crying now because she misses you and she needs company so she won’t cry anymore. That made Arielle stopped crying. She told me that it was okay if I go back to the States so her mommy won’t be alone and she won’t cry anymore. In spite of her tender age and innocence I can feel the love and concern she has for her mom, it is capable of sacrificing and understanding the situation. And that thought brought my tears again. There were no words to describe how sad I was to think that she’s growing up without her mother. The last time they saw each other was in July 2008 when she was just barely one year old. But I have to look at the future—her mother and hers. Hopefully within two years her mother will be able to bring her to the States and they will never be separated again.

Another very touching moment of my last day of vacation was at the airport when I hugged my father and told him to take care of mama and himself. For the first time in my life I saw my father’s tears. That really touched me to the core of my being. I have always known my father as the strongest person on earth. When we were growing up, he was the iron one in the family. None of us ever tried to defy our father’s rule. His words were law that should be obeyed. And our mother has always supported our father’s decision. Our family was very much of a patriarchal type and I used to recent my mom for not being on our side when our dad was unreasonably strict (not even allowing us to watch movies, no boyfriends until we finished our studies and going to disco or outing with friends were some of the things we were not allowed to do).  Later in my adult life, I’ve witnessed how my father has changed a lot when it comes to raising up my three younger sisters. They were more free than we the older four were. Also when I became a parent myself, I came to understand my parents more and the sacrifices they did to raise and educate us (seven children). I also realized that we were less grateful of our parents when we were younger. All I could think then was their being strict in not allowing us to have more fun while young. Later did I realize that I should be grateful for their being strict and focused on our education first. And that day I hugged my father at the airport and saw him cried, I realized I have never hugged him, I’m sure not one of my younger siblings ever did. And I think that’s what brought my dad to tears. He has always been the provider/giver of the family of guidance and strength. Even in the community where we spent almost half of our growing up years, people looked up to him for advice. He has been one of the lay leaders of the Parish he served for 30 years. He has always been looked up to as the strong and strict head of the family. Everyone overlooked that he also needed affection and expression of love and gratitude for all he did to put us where we are now.  All throughout my trip back to my home in Virginia, I have reflected on that moment with my dad at the airport. Until now I feel so sad that it took me all these years to realize how all of us overlooked the needs of our dad for affection. But somehow I was relieved to know that it is not yet too late. He is just 74 and still very sharp in mind. I know I still have time to let my dad know how I love him and how grateful I am for everything he did so I could be where I am right now.  He has raised us to love God above all, to always treasure family and respect all people regardless of their status in life. All these are priceless treasures that he handed to us and we will be passing on to our children.

My recent vacation back to the Philippines has been so fulfilling and worthwhile. The great times I had with my whole family and bonding and fun times I had with long time and close friends and high school batch mates were refreshingly awesome. It was truly a trip I will always treasure and remember for the rest of my life. I can’t wait to be back!

To my beautiful family and to all my friends, thank you very much. I am so blessed to have you in my life. I will surely miss you all!!!

My Philippine Adventure Part 1

Time really flies so quickly. It was just two years ago when I was in the Philippines for a vacation. Well, I am here again and I am having great time with my family and friends.

I am sharing some photos of these times.

Gensan Airport

                  the mothers, daughters and cousins                          

cactus in Lemlunay

magnificent morning, the beautiful and the infinity pool

Arielle with her tita Michelle

spending time with me inspite of their busy schedule

my beautiful niece

they love waking up and have this right in their sight

just enjoying each other's presence

the white boat

Me with my grand daughter

bonding time with a long time friend Avel

with the planet man

my favorite pasta

between two awesome people

This is a very short post, but more are coming. It is so nice to be around with people we care so much and my time with them is just very short. But the fun times we have and the memories will be my constant company when I go back to the US. I am so grateful to have this chance to share these moments with them.

The Love of A Father

A year ago, I started reading one of the Chicken Soup Books. And since then I have been a big fan. I love all the inspirational stories about counting your blessings and having a positive attitude. I would recommend these books to anyone because we could all use a good uplifting story every now and then. The stories are told by people of different races, gender, ages, and stages of life, so there is something for everyone to relate to. The particular story that hit me with its message was Riding Tandem, a metaphor about the strength of a father's love.

A father and a son went out to take part in the Vietnam Challenge – a sixteen-day, twelve-hundred-mile bike ride. The son was blind, so he and his father rode on a tandem bike. They rode in the same outfits and were therefore ultimately linked together tightly on that bike for those sixteen days. During those sixteen days the son learned much about his father – a rather private man whom he didn’t really know. He learned of his dedication to his country, of his service in Vietnam, his optimism, his faith in country and so forth. The highlight of the story was the father and son’s trek to the point of the most grueling part of the ride; the Hai Van Pass, which was a mountain pass of over 3200 feet out of the coastal plains below. It was a physically demanding stretch that required the father and son to work together as a team. Well, as the story continues the son comes to this realization; “In the past, it had always been my father putting his hand on my shoulder. … On the back of our tandem bike, facing the steepest section of the Hai Van Pass, this would be my chance to do something for him. I wanted my legs to be the force that would power our small team up the steep switchbacks to the top. We’ll go as slow as you want, but we won’t stop, the son commanded. But hearing his father’s heaving breaths he backed off. We can stop if you want he told his father and he continued pedaling. They, as a team, were getting close to the top and as they neared it the father kept telling the son how far they were – another half mile, then only a hundred yards. The son maintained the rhythm of his pedaling, hoping to have the strength to bring them to the top of the pass and over. As they neared the top the bike toppled over; the son got up quickly and went right over to his father, who was a little dizzy. They walked the bike the rest of the way to the top as the crowd of people, who had gathered, cheered them on. When they reached the top the father said “I have lived through a war, I watched my son go blind. I saw my wife die in a car accident. Some people think I’m unfeeling. But what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to act? Should I have given up? Should I have quit? Life is too precious, and all I can do is live it.”

Fatherhood cannot be proven with a blood test, nor does it consist of simply providing a paycheck. It cannot be reduced to a single dimension. It involves commitment, self-sacrifice, integrity, and unconditional love. It is for them that I dedicate this post.

Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful and responsible fathers in the world.

Building Your History

When I first came here in the US I didn't know that having no credit history can be a disadvantage in many ways. Back home I have always paid everything in cash. I remember having credit cards when I was working for a big corporation because all managers were required to apply for credit cards backed up by the company. But when I left the corporate world to start my own business, I paid off my credit cards and ever since, have done all my transactions by cash or check. When I want to buy something that was in big amount like car, I would save money until I have enough money in the bank and I could pay it in cash or check secured by my savings. My philosophy then was I didn't want to live on credit. It worked well for me and in fact it was a good thing there if you don't owe anything from anybody.

It was completely a different world when I got here in the US. Here, even if you have money in the bank, you don't run around buying things in cash. It's crazy to pay a $5,000 TV sets in cash. It is perceived that only people who are into illegal activities like drug dealers and bank robbers carry big amount of money and pay cash in big amounts. Everything here is either paid through credit cards or in-house financing.  In order to get the best deal, you've got to have a good credit score otherwise it will cost you financially. You end up paying a much higher interest. For example, on a $20,000, 60-month auto loan, borrowers would usually pay $5,000 more in interest with a bad credit score than with a good credit score. Most people don't know that credit score mainly represents the risk of not repaying a loan. These are the facts that I have to face when I finally decided to settle in the US for good. It was tough but with patience and diligence I was able to start building my credit history. I first applied for credit card designed for somebody like me who has no credit history. I used my credit card to purchase everything instead of using my debit card and I would pay all my balance instead of just paying the minimum amount required before my due date so I didn't have to pay for the high interest rates on balance unpaid after billing cycle. It has been fun and life learning experience while building my credit history. Lately I just bought my new car. After paying only half using the sale from my 3 year old car as down payment and half through financing, I got a 60 month zero interest and a monthly amortization that is worth less than my two days salary. It is really very affordable on my part.

For those who are just starting to make a life in the US and those who are planning to come and live here, this is one of those things that need to be taken care of. After you settled and have a job, start building your credit history even if you have money and can afford to pay cash. Practicality, convenience and safety are some of the reasons to have that plastic in your wallet. After that, you'll be amazed at how the world opens up for you. Words of caution though. Proper management of your finances is very important. And if you're the one who already established a stable history and just curious about your credit score? There are free credit score websites that offer free FICO score estimator. FICO by the way means Fair Isaac Corporation, a public company that provides analytics  and decision making services including credit scoring intended to help financial services and companies make complex, high-volume decisions (source: Wikipedia). It's not a bad thing to have credit, as long as you are responsible. You can use it to your advantage and make your life more flexible and your choices more suited to your financial capacity.