Wrinkles, Gray Hair & Love

I would never trade my loving family, my amazing friends, my wonderful life, for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become very comfortable of and being less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cake or cup of ice cream sometimes, or for buying that extra camera. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to splurge on something.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they they even enjoy the fruit of their labor or understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until the wee hours of the morning or sleep in the middle of the day? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 70 & 80's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful.

But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or when somebody broke their promise? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair starts turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.

I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like getting old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall enjoy life to the fullest and live the bliss of love that only two people truly in love could ever share.

Some Thoughts About Life

I have always thought that I am a free spirited woman. Someone whose definition of a free spirited as one who isn't weighed down by the troubles of everyday life, is always herself regardless of the situation and live life to the fullest. Not restricted by other people's opinions, still smiles when things aren't going too well, taking a positive outlook on life and trying to make the most of it, my spirit isnt damped by little things in life... In short, free-spirited in a positive context.

What does it mean to be free spirited person? A question I've been reflecting for a while now...

As I said I've always thought that I was a free spirited woman. But in the last few days, I've come to realize that being a free spirited person does not come at a price that will cause you to lose in ways where the costs brings forth pain and suffering. Or from a place where I feel that I don't have the courage and strength to go deep within myself and really look at who I am, face the pain(s) and address them.

Could it be that most people define being a "free spirited person" from what the world and what most of society deems as being a free "spirit"?

The Spirit and soul are not to be confined. It is inevitable that we will meet and have relationships with each other. Some will stay for a long time....many will stay for a short while.

I understand that many people have their definitions as to what it means to be a free spirited being. So I'm going to ask those of you who are reading this blog few questions.

After reading and answering my questions, if you can answer them honestly, about where you are as being a free spirited person, and none of the ways that I've asked is how you truly live, then keep living freely. If you can answer these questions honestly, and see that you're living as to the questions I've asked in any way, then keep pushing and striving to break the chains that keep you locked and bound.

Do you manipulate, lie, abuse, judge, contradict, criticize, abnegate responsibilities to and of yourself and others? Do you lack integrity and compassion, lack integrity to admission, unfairly treat and favor one over the other? Do you live in the past and hold grudges, disdain, ambivalence and indignance towards yourself and others? Do you blame others for your actions and choices that can be hurtful to yourself and others? Do you act and/or react with anger, volitility, hostility and/or rage when you feel upset? Do you withdraw and withhold feelings of love and comfort even when you see others in pain? Do you minimize and/or invalidate others' feelings and experiences? Do you not love, respect, honor, and accept yourself for who you are and where you are today?..........

My opinion is, if you do any behaviors, which causes strife and stress in your life and the lives of others, that's not being a free spirited person.

Knowing that we are all human beings, we are all far from being perfect. But by admitting our imperfections, shortcomings and faults, we will attain freedom and it takes a lot of courage to do!

I know we all face triumphs and challenges everyday. We all have our journeys and expreriences in our travels; lessons to learn from and lessons to teach to others.

If we can learn to let go of fear and judgement of others, reflect love, understanding, patience, peace and acceptance of each other and our experiences, we can all become free.

Knowing that life is very short, when we die and leave this world, we all know that it is our souls/spirits that will continue to live and exist.

I respect people have there own ideas, ideals and opinions. I may agree, or I may not.

The bottom line is whether I, we agree, disagree,like or dislike each other and our views and opinions, I do believe that we can still respect and validate each other's experiences and feelings. So if you agree or disagree with everything I've said and asked, I respect that is how you think and feel. I respect that.

Having the ability and the confidence in yourself, your views and/or opinions, and not underestimating or invalidating others and their views and/or opinions, is a wonderful and attractive character attribute to have. That is being a free spirited; being able to acknowledge and recognize people for their individuality, feelings and opinions, allowing them to express without judging them and still respect them even if they don't agree or accept what you say and believe is what it means to live freely.

My last question is...should we be living as free spirited-persons or should we be striving and pursuing to become and live as free SPIRITED BEINGS?

Rambling Of A Barren Heart

I wandered through this life losing my faith in love
My trust had been betrayed, I walked with my head down
Until that day I met you and you turned my life around
Rescued me from loneliness and helped me find my dream...

I learned to feel a passion that I thought exist no more
That was the day I cherished because I finally found
The one I’d always love and build my life around
Did you know that I believed you were my destiny?

But quickly as we came we soon had disappeared
Our time would finally end and we had to say goodbye
I was so lost, don’t know how it all went wrong
But how was I to know; perhaps I never will...

I cried a thousand tears and softly spoke your name
The time we spent together was the time I’d never trade
Your love wasn't as deep just not enough for us to last
I have to go away and leave you from my heart...

I closed my eyes and said my last goodbye
I do wish your life would be like dawn
Full of brightness, strength, warmth & hope
I just need to go; stay away from you forever...

Depth Of Field

I am almost halfway finished with my Photography class for Digital SLR (Single Lens Reflex) camera. My daughter Michelle & I enrolled in this class because I just bought a Canon 5 SDII camera and I want to know more about depth of field, resolution, composition, macro photography & more. I gave michelle my rebel XT and I am so glad she is also enjoying our class. I am looking forward to more of our mother-daughter bonding through this new found hobby that we both really enjoy. I am going to share here the photographs I took during our class' shooting sessions & some of my local trips around our area. This week our topic is about depth of field. These are photos I took in our yard, around our neighborhood in Northern Virginia, Southern Maryland and other suburb of Washington DC. Enjoy your tour!

The Historic Occoquan







my classmate

Reflections









The Front Royal Golf Course






St. Michael Island, Maryland





a barn

Blooms in our garden:
a flower of a Dogwood tree

Wisteria flower

Dahlia

Different varieties of Azalea






African Marigold

Now that I understand few of the many things that my camera can do, I am excited to learn more about it and I want to have skills to make it work the way I want the actions or images to be captured. I have learned that there is more to photography than just using the automatic setting of our camera...