Where Is Home?

I had been living in the States for a while so going back to take care of a very important business with only one week planning didn't sound that bad. We came to love the way of life and the convenience of doing things in the States and so we decided to stay for good. And now that my daughters have come to love the life in the US, I think the possibility of them going back to the Philippines is now very slim. I used to say that this is my home and it is here where I'm going to get old and die, but now I am not sure anymore. My three weeks of being here made me realize that things have changed a lot. People change and so do I, that I'm sure! It's weird being home and yet feels like you're missing a lot of things in your life. And to think that less than two years ago in my first post, I talked about how I missed home.

 

My flight from Dulles Int'l Airport to Manila via Incheon, Korea was long and exhausting beyond description. While on the plane, I had mixed feelings. There's an immeasurable difference in the way of life in the US and in the Philippines. I wondered what it would be like. Would I feel like stranger in my home? Would things still be the same? Would I want to come back to the US? With all of these thoughts rumbling around in my head, I began to think that maybe going home at this time wasn’t such a good idea. I am adapted to American life already….better not to mess up the cycle. But I also missed home, my families and friends...

I got here in Gen. Santos last Sept. 16 after a 23-hour flight, and 36 hours without sleep. I spent my first 5 days sleeping during the day and staying awake at night. It was on my second week here that I started meeting and going out with friends to parties and other gatherings like concert, birthdays, anniversaries, fiesta, etc. It's just about a week ago that my body clock got adjusted to the new time.  

So going back to the whole experience… in less than a month I was exposed to different faces of my country. Just as soon as I got here in Gensan, the devastating trpoical storm Ondoy hit Manila and other provinces in Luzon that took many lives and left hundreds of family homeless and hungry.  In my hometown specifically, I noticed so many changes in less than 2 years that I was away. What used to be a dusty big track of vacant land where that used to be parking places for many churhgoers (including me ) is now a very nice park, the Plaza Heneral Santos. A new huge mall just opened last October 5. There are 3 big malls  in Gensan  just a block or two away from each other that traffic in that part of the city  became so bad especially during rush hours, it is so frustrating that driving is becoming an ordeal.  also I noticed that city population  have increased dramatically. Cost of everything have also gone high so fast and yet salaries and wages didn't increase that much. Price of gas is surprisingly almost the same as in the US which left some questions in my mind that I'd rather not talk about here. 

Since I got home, I played golf as much as I can because I know when I go back to the US, it would be winter and I won't be able to play until second week of April next year. I had been to white beaches in Gumasa, Glan Sarangani a couple of times. It's really beautiful there with it's white sand and gorgeous sunset. If you are looking for peace and quiet while enjoying the beach, the sun and white sand, this is the place to be...All these ALMOST COST NOTHING!!!

Just to conclude, the experience so far has been  challenging, exciting, and self realizing experience, with all the needed ingredients to call it “vacation”, where for me many things are new and different, making me feel like a foreigner or stranger in my own hometown and all these changes just taking place in less than two years.

What Has Gone Wrong???

Talking to a long time friend today, inspired me to write this post. You see, I used to envy her because she seemed to have a perfect life--successful career, a loving husband & wonderful kids. I was surprised to hear from her that her husband left her and took their kids with him...She said theirs was a case of true love that was not taken cared of, it went on a descending journey and it was already too late to fix it. They both screwed up and nobody wants to give up their ego. But she was so upset and blaming herself for what had happened.

Love gone wrong is the source of stories and songs throughout history. We all messed up when it comes to our interpersonal relationships. Somehow, we’ve all done it. But it’s what we learned from those failures that make us better and stronger person.

There is a lot of good and bad things that happen in my relationships, I have reached down into my life’s baggage and shared a story of the worst mistake I’ve made in my life– and the lessons I've learned and how it improved me as a person and the quality of my relationship after the wounds healed.

So my friend this pieces of thought is especially for you, "time heals all wounds." This pain you are going through will pass, it may leave you scarred but the lessons you will learn will make you a much better person. 


Go pick up the pieces and start building yourself now, not tomorrow, but today. Go for it!

Transition And Assimilation

My daughters really surprised me how quickly they have adapted to life in the US. And to think that they have lived all their lives in the Philippines before we came here to live. Why did I say that? Well, there are many things to prove that statement. One is, they got used to living without house helps around. They learned to do their own laundry, cook dinner, vacuum the floor and do the dishes (well, with the dishwasher it's not a big job anyway). Here in the US we live in a neighborhood where houses are far apart from each other and partly forested so our home is in the middle of the woods. Our house in the Philippines is in the middle of a vibrant neighborhood where almost everyone knows everybody. They told me that they even like the "live and let live" kind of people interaction here than the familiarity of living back home as if everyone has the right to know about your life. We've been in this same neighborhood living for a couple of years but I don't even know most of my neighbors by name. Sure we do smile and wave our hands whenever we see each other from our driveway or while driving, but that's all about it. And frankly, it's more comfortable and simple that way.

One of my big worries before I decided to live permanently here in the US is for them to suffer "culture shock" and insignificant concerns like the changing season especially winter. I have heard stories from others' experiences that pulling up roots from homeland can be traumatic. But surprisingly, none of those worries ever came true. Thanks God for that! My eldest daughter is even working now and she seems to be really enjoying her job. She got lots of new friends and she already acquired things through her own effort and still had many plans for her future. It's hard to believe how far she has gone in such a short time, call it youth adrenaline or whatever. As a mom, all I can do is support and be there for them in their search for their dreams and aspirations. I always remind them that USA is a wonderland of opportunities for everybody. It is a country that offers endless possibilities for individuals with the talent, drive and determination to make things happen. If they work hard, then can achieve anything they want.

My daughters are still young, being  successful is not necessarily dependent on where you grew up or even where you've relocated. Drive, ambition and persistence are what's needed -- in any language.

We decided to remain permanently in this country; learning and living in the new ways, without having to cut the bonds that tie us to our native roots. To honor both countries with love is our goal!

Approval From Blogvertise

Practically I am new to this blogging world. This site was born on January 3, 2009. My friend Avel of http://www.gensantos.com/ encouraged me to sign in to a blog site and share my thoughts to the world because he said I can write beautifully, well as I said, he is a friend. I was hesitant then but with his and my brother's encouragement, I finally post my first entry "From Miles Away." It's hard to believe I already have 91 entries with 4000+++ pages and 1,650+++ visits in my site as of today. I know that figure is nothing compared to number of visitors that most blogsites get, but for me it's a big accomplishment. I am flattered. I also have an offer from a Singapore-based company to advertise them in my site. Isn't that inspiring????

I originally intended my blogsite to be just for me to have an outlet to express my deep thoughts and pondering and what's going on with my life, my feelings and experiences.

Blogging became my way of expressing myself without being worried that I will be misunderstood or afraid of  offending somebody. But lately, my friends have been insinuating to me that I can earn income while doing what I love doing. And I said, wait...who wouldn't want an extra income if it won't limit me from doing other things that makes my life more exciting? My friend who is an IT Manager suggested a couple of websites and yesterday, Blogvertise, approved my application with them...so now I earn money while doing what I love to do...yes, I get paid while blogging!