The Love of A Father

A year ago, I started reading one of the Chicken Soup Books. And since then I have been a big fan. I love all the inspirational stories about counting your blessings and having a positive attitude. I would recommend these books to anyone because we could all use a good uplifting story every now and then. The stories are told by people of different races, gender, ages, and stages of life, so there is something for everyone to relate to. The particular story that hit me with its message was Riding Tandem, a metaphor about the strength of a father's love.

A father and a son went out to take part in the Vietnam Challenge – a sixteen-day, twelve-hundred-mile bike ride. The son was blind, so he and his father rode on a tandem bike. They rode in the same outfits and were therefore ultimately linked together tightly on that bike for those sixteen days. During those sixteen days the son learned much about his father – a rather private man whom he didn’t really know. He learned of his dedication to his country, of his service in Vietnam, his optimism, his faith in country and so forth. The highlight of the story was the father and son’s trek to the point of the most grueling part of the ride; the Hai Van Pass, which was a mountain pass of over 3200 feet out of the coastal plains below. It was a physically demanding stretch that required the father and son to work together as a team. Well, as the story continues the son comes to this realization; “In the past, it had always been my father putting his hand on my shoulder. … On the back of our tandem bike, facing the steepest section of the Hai Van Pass, this would be my chance to do something for him. I wanted my legs to be the force that would power our small team up the steep switchbacks to the top. We’ll go as slow as you want, but we won’t stop, the son commanded. But hearing his father’s heaving breaths he backed off. We can stop if you want he told his father and he continued pedaling. They, as a team, were getting close to the top and as they neared it the father kept telling the son how far they were – another half mile, then only a hundred yards. The son maintained the rhythm of his pedaling, hoping to have the strength to bring them to the top of the pass and over. As they neared the top the bike toppled over; the son got up quickly and went right over to his father, who was a little dizzy. They walked the bike the rest of the way to the top as the crowd of people, who had gathered, cheered them on. When they reached the top the father said “I have lived through a war, I watched my son go blind. I saw my wife die in a car accident. Some people think I’m unfeeling. But what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to act? Should I have given up? Should I have quit? Life is too precious, and all I can do is live it.”

Fatherhood cannot be proven with a blood test, nor does it consist of simply providing a paycheck. It cannot be reduced to a single dimension. It involves commitment, self-sacrifice, integrity, and unconditional love. It is for them that I dedicate this post.

Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful and responsible fathers in the world.

Building Your History

When I first came here in the US I didn't know that having no credit history can be a disadvantage in many ways. Back home I have always paid everything in cash. I remember having credit cards when I was working for a big corporation because all managers were required to apply for credit cards backed up by the company. But when I left the corporate world to start my own business, I paid off my credit cards and ever since, have done all my transactions by cash or check. When I want to buy something that was in big amount like car, I would save money until I have enough money in the bank and I could pay it in cash or check secured by my savings. My philosophy then was I didn't want to live on credit. It worked well for me and in fact it was a good thing there if you don't owe anything from anybody.

It was completely a different world when I got here in the US. Here, even if you have money in the bank, you don't run around buying things in cash. It's crazy to pay a $5,000 TV sets in cash. It is perceived that only people who are into illegal activities like drug dealers and bank robbers carry big amount of money and pay cash in big amounts. Everything here is either paid through credit cards or in-house financing.  In order to get the best deal, you've got to have a good credit score otherwise it will cost you financially. You end up paying a much higher interest. For example, on a $20,000, 60-month auto loan, borrowers would usually pay $5,000 more in interest with a bad credit score than with a good credit score. Most people don't know that credit score mainly represents the risk of not repaying a loan. These are the facts that I have to face when I finally decided to settle in the US for good. It was tough but with patience and diligence I was able to start building my credit history. I first applied for credit card designed for somebody like me who has no credit history. I used my credit card to purchase everything instead of using my debit card and I would pay all my balance instead of just paying the minimum amount required before my due date so I didn't have to pay for the high interest rates on balance unpaid after billing cycle. It has been fun and life learning experience while building my credit history. Lately I just bought my new car. After paying only half using the sale from my 3 year old car as down payment and half through financing, I got a 60 month zero interest and a monthly amortization that is worth less than my two days salary. It is really very affordable on my part.

For those who are just starting to make a life in the US and those who are planning to come and live here, this is one of those things that need to be taken care of. After you settled and have a job, start building your credit history even if you have money and can afford to pay cash. Practicality, convenience and safety are some of the reasons to have that plastic in your wallet. After that, you'll be amazed at how the world opens up for you. Words of caution though. Proper management of your finances is very important. And if you're the one who already established a stable history and just curious about your credit score? There are free credit score websites that offer free FICO score estimator. FICO by the way means Fair Isaac Corporation, a public company that provides analytics  and decision making services including credit scoring intended to help financial services and companies make complex, high-volume decisions (source: Wikipedia). It's not a bad thing to have credit, as long as you are responsible. You can use it to your advantage and make your life more flexible and your choices more suited to your financial capacity.

Turning Another Page Of Life

I can't believe that my birthday is coming again. It seems like just yesterday when I had that birthday celebration in Manhattan, New York last year. We had a very nice dinner at the revolving restaurant of Marriot Marquis and later watched Broadway (Phantom Of The Opera) and  after that; we just hanged out in Times Square until the wee hours of the morning. It was a very nice birthday celebration to say the least.

And here I am again, adding another year to my age. It was seven years ago, when I was welcomed into the beautiful "middle age."  At this stage in life I don't have the casual immaturity of the youth, nor do I have the constant dependency of old age. I have always enjoyed my birthdays with quiet reflection on the four decades of a sometimes challenging but beautiful journey. I find time to enjoy the little moments rather than focus on bigger events. I always make it a point to take off from everyday life and work to just enjoy two days celebrating life.

Lately I have been looking back at my life, along its winding road to the old familiar land marks of love and compassions I have known. It may sound simple but it's more than a cliché. There's no better way to express my gratitude than to say God has been good in my life. I feel blessed when I go to sleep each night counting my blessings and wakes up in the morning with renewed vibrancy and refreshed hope for all that's life is still waiting for me in the future. And though I've had my share of hard times, I know deep in my heart that through it all, God has been good. I believe that the worst of times yields the best lessons in life. 

In a couple of days from now, as I pause to celebrate my birthday, I have one question that I will seek for an answer. I think the older we get, the knowingness of the truth-the ownership of knowing is louder. And that voice is louder definitely: “So am I really happy now?’’ Definitely. And I will surely be more happy on my special day, thankful to God for the health, love and constant support of family and friends and for countless blessings I receive everyday.

Disappearing In This Lifetime?

Change is inevitable in life. Among the things that's constantly changing is Technology. It changes at the speed of light, or so it seems. It is near impossible to have the most up-to-date technology in your home or office, no matter how hard you try. On the other hand, it is not in our best interest to keep limping along with that old gadget. Somehow we need to step up and learn to adjust and learn them . .

Whether these changes are good or bad depends in part on how we adapt to them.  But, ready or not, here they come.

9 Things That Will Probably Disappear In Our Lifetime....

1.   The  Post Office.   Get ready to imagine a world without the post office.   They are so deeply in financial trouble that there is probably no way to sustain it long term.  Email, Fed Ex, and UPS have just about wiped out the minimum revenue needed to keep the post office alive.  Most of your mail every day is junk mail and bills. 

2.   The Check. Britain is already laying the groundwork to do away with checks by 2018. My personal experience attest to this fact. I can only remember one time I used my checkbook. I forgot my wallet in the house where all my bank cards are kept. I had to pay my groceries with my check. It costs the financial system billions of dollars a year to process checks.  Plastic cards and  online transactions will lead to the eventual demise of the check.  This plays right into the death of the post office.  If you never paid your bills by mail and never received them by mail,  the post office would absolutely go out of business.

3.   The Newspaper .   The younger generation simply doesn't read the newspaper.  They certainly don't subscribe to a daily delivered print edition.  That may go the way of the milkman and the laundry man.  As for reading the paper online, get  ready to pay for it.  The rise in mobile Internet devices and e-readers has caused all the newspaper and magazine publishers to form an alliance.  They have met with Apple, Amazon, and the major cell phone companies to develop a model for paid subscription services.  (Madison's Capitol Times and Seattle's Post Intellegencer are already on models onl

4.  The Book.   We say we will never give up the physical book that we hold in our hand and turn the literal pages.  You probably said the same thing about downloading music from i Tunes.  I thought I wanted my hard copy CD  but quickly changed my mind when I discovered that I could get albums for half the price without ever leaving home to get the latest music.  The same thing will happen with books.  I have a Kindle DX and I can browse a book online and even read a preview chapter before  I buy.  And the price is less than half that of a real book.  And think of the  convenience!  Once you start flicking your fingers on the screen instead of the book, you find that you are lost in the story, can't wait to see what happens next, and you forget that you're holding a gadget instead of a book.

5.   The Land Line Telephone.   Unless you have a large family and make a lot of local calls, you don't need it anymore.  Most people keep it simply because they've always had it.  But you are paying double charges for that extra  service.  All the cell phone companies will let you call customers using the same cell provider for minimal or no charge against your minutes and you get unlimited text for free. I haven't had a landline since 2005.

6.   Music.   This is one of the saddest parts of the change story.  The music industry is dying a slow death.  Not just because of illegal downloading; It's the lack of innovative new music being given a chance to get to the people who would like to hear it.  Greed and  corruption is the problem.  The record labels and the radio conglomerates are simply self-destructing.  Over 40% of the music purchased today is "catalog items,"  meaning traditional music that the public knows older established artists.  This is also true on the live concert circuit. 

7.   Television.   Revenues to the networks are down dramatically.  Not just because of the economy.  People are watching TV and movies streamed from their computers.  And they're spending time playing games and doing lots of  other things that take up the time that used to be spent watching TV.  Prime time shows have degenerated down to lower than the lowest common denominator.  Cable rates are skyrocketing and commercials run about every 4 minutes and 30 seconds.  I say good riddance to most of it.  It's time for the cable companies to be put out of our misery.  Let the people choose what they want to watch online and through Netflix. 

8.   The "Things" That You Own.   Many of the very possessions that we used to own are still in our lives, but we may not actually own them in the future.  They may simply reside in "the cloud."  Today your computer has a hard drive and you store your pictures, music, movies, and documents.  Your software is on a CD or DVD, and you can always re-install it if need be.  But all of that is changing.   Apple, Amazon, Microsoft, and Google are all finishing up their latest "cloud services."  That means that when you turn on a computer, the Internet will be built into the operating system.  So, Windows, Google, and the Mac OS will be tied straight into the Internet.  If you click an icon, it will open something in the Internet cloud.  If you save something, it will be saved to the cloud.  And you may pay a monthly subscription fee to the cloud provider.  In this virtual world, you can access your music or your books, or your whatever from any laptop or handheld Internet capable device.  That's the good news.  But, will you actually own any of this "stuff" or will it all be able to disappear at any moment in a big "Poof?"  Will most of the things in our lives be disposable and whimsical?  It makes you want to run to the closet and pull out that photo album, grab a book from the shelf, or open up a CD case and pull out the insert. 

9.   Privacy.   If there ever was a concept that we can look back on nostalgically, it would be privacy.  That's gone.  It's been gone for a long time anyway.  There are cameras on the street, in most of the buildings, and even built into your computer and cell phone.  But you can be sure that 24/7, "They" know who you are and where you are, right down to the GPS coordinates, and the Google Street View.  If you buy something, your habit is put into a  zillion profiles, and your ads will change to reflect those habits.  And "They" will try to get you to buy something else.  Again and again. 

All we will have that can't be changed are Memories. ( In my case, even these are fading). 

For some of you, this will simply elicit a shrug of the shoulders.  You are among the fortunate ones leading the charge to change.  For the rest, usually the older ones, this is not only upsetting but traumatic to contemplate.  As a non-worrier I once knew used to say, "In five years will it matter?"