The recession has hit everybody really hard…
:My neighbor got a pre -declined credit card in the mail.
:Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
:CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
:Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
:A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced
:If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
:McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer .
:Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
:Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
:My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
:A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico . A picture is now only worth 200 words.
:When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
:The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
:Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally… I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline . I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Somehow today, this made me laugh...
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