Why Lonely Woman

Lonely woman, life's a struggle

Life has always been a fight

Lonely woman, don't know why

You're still alone, it isn't right

How did your life get like this

Why did you end up so lonely

What happened to the fairytale

What happened to your one and only

People talk about their lovers

You smile and shrug, and you pretend

You don't mind being alone

But you want your pain to end

Lonely woman, nothing's changing

Lonely woman, fading youth

Maiden bloom now whithering

With no one to take care of you

How did you get so lonely

Who put you on this path

Where is your one and only

To take you by the hand?

Delusion creeps in to comfort your pain

your life is eternally in rain.

All your actions are in vain,

why, oh why you lonely woman?

Friends & Memories

Friends are the most wonderful gift of life. I am blessed with so many friends. Most of them I have shared long-lasting friendships, that after so many years we have become family to each other. May is one of them. May is like a sister to me. We call each other ate (big sister). We have so many wonderful times and memories together. She's a wonderful person with a golden heart and one of the strongest woman I have ever known.  She is single but very happy, had raised two nephews and she's a cancer survivor, click here to read her testimony. I can go on and on telling you all the qualities that my friend posses that made her my little hero but that's another post to write.

May is here in the US for a vacation and just recently she and her nephew Russ came for a visit and stayed with me here in Virginia for a week. And to add to the excitement, our common friend Rhoda who is based in New York also took time off to join us. Our moments were filled with catching up stories and new memories to fill the pages of our book of friendships. I am posting some of our photos during our time together. Ate May, Russell and atch Rhoda, I hope you'll enjoy this; this is for you....

                                                       Picking them up at Dulles Int'l Airport

                                          at Apple main store in Manhattan, NYC

                                                                May, Russ and Rhoda

                                                              at Central Park, NYC

                                                                 

                                                                with more friends

the world seem perfect when three very good friends are together

tired from walking

 Times Square

                                 my ever dearest friends and our gracious hosts in New Jersey, Juls and Delsie

                                                               Washington DC photos:

It is really true that time seem to be so short when you are with the right company and you are happy. As much as I didn't want to, it was time for my friends to leave.  I am back to my reality now--missing them and looking forward to that day that we will be together again.

May, Rhoda and Russell, till we meet again!

Aging Gracefully

Time passes by so fast. I can't believe I'm turning another year older in a few days. I'm taking a couple days off from work and hopefully I can celebrate my 49th birthday as I planned to.

For most of my adult life, my feeling about celebrating my birthday has always been a matter of just adding numbers to my age. My self image has always been of the young, fresh out of college me. Smarty pants, ambitious, and out to prove something to the world.

That's all started to change in the past five years or so. My eldest daughter is now pursuing her Masters in Business Administration and my youngest is working in the same company I am working for. I'm starting to be conscious of gray hairs when I look at myself in the mirror. I see a different person in the pictures others take of me. I see the wrinkles and other signs of natural aging. I'm in a stage where I am planning my retirement years.

Physically I'm changing and I am gracefully accepting it. I'm getting older but happier, internally stronger but also a tad bit slower. As a single parent to my two daughters since they were eight and ten years old, my world revolve around them and baby Arielle. They are my inspirations and the reasons why I am where I am today. Lately, events and circumstances struck me and made me face the truth that they are on their way to being completely on their own. Sometimes it makes me sad to realize that my two kids are all grown ups now and have fully embraced the American way of valuing independence. From where we came from, our children especially women usually stay with parents (regardless of age) until they get married. I have to learn to accept the fact that they don't need me as much anymore, that they want to make their own choices. And I have to let them do that. Parenting is one of the hardest things to learn but teaches us the most.

Anyway, I am pretty well adapting to the many changes that are taking place in my life and the aging process. I am grateful for who I have become. Life has not been perfect, but in the scope of things, it has been so good. I can't thank God enough for everything. I'm happy with my life now and I'm looking forward to what the future will bring. It's a blessing to have what I have and just this thought is enough to make my birthday truly worth celebrating.

Beating Bad Cholesterol

About three years ago, my lab test showed that my LDL cholesterol, known as bad cholesterol has gone up. My blood pressure was also 125/90. My doctor told me that the figures were just a little above normal and I didn't have to take medication yet but I needed to watch my diet if I wanted it back to normal and stay healthy. As for me, it is either normal or bad. That knowledge opened my eyes to my consciousness as far as my health is concerned so I made a commitment to be really serious about my food choices and made it my challenge on a day to day basis. I have always thought that I was fit and healthy because I never gain too much weight even after giving birth to two daughters. I would gain five to ten pounds but I never had a problem getting rid of those extra pounds few months after giving birth. But my maternal side of my family have history of high blood pressure; my mother has been on her high blood pressure medication for two decades now, she had a mild stroke once. Adding to that is the fact that most of the foods I used to love are high in sodium and cholesterol, crispy litson (roast pig) skin for me is to die for, so I knew that if I don't change my diet, the figures would go up and then I would have to go on medication for the rest of my life. 

Knowing that I was at risk of stroke and heart attack really made me take my diet seriously. I've realized that because I have always been skinny didn't mean I have been healthy. My physician told me to avoid red meat and foods that are very high in saturated fats, sodium and cholesterol like fried chicken, litson, french fries, meat burgers, cheese, pasta with white sauce, eggs, whole dairy milk, processed meat like ham, bacon, sausage and hotdogs. I went on a serious diet overhaul, just eating nuts, whole grains, fresh vegetables (salads) and fruits and almost zero meat, just grilled fish, roasted chicken breast and organic protein supplements for my protein. My doctor told me to come back for a follow up after 3 months to see my progress. And then every six months thereafter. 

For the first time I was worried about my health. It made me reflect on how many of my friends and acquaintances passed away because of stroke and heart attack. In fact one of my closest friends and high school batch mate Jimmy died of stroke at the age of 42. Still young and at the prime of his life, none of us his friends thought he would die so soon as he did. And these thoughts have motivated me to stay committed to my diet regimen. So when I came back to my doctor after three months, my blood test result showed my LDL cholesterol went down and my blood pressure was 118/70. After six months, my blood test results showed my cholesterol level was normal and my blood pressure stayed normal too. It's been three years now and every six months I still have my routine blood test and check up. I have been on the right track. I stayed on my healthy diet and made it a habit to read labels on the food products I buy. I would never buy anything that is high in saturated fat, sodium, calories. Once in a while, I still have my litson and my favorite cheese and pasta. But what changed is the fact that I take everything in moderation. 

I am committed to staying healthy and fit. It is such a challenge especially when you are surrounded by places where foods we love that are bad for our health are accessible or easily available to us. But I took it one day at a time. Now it is my way of life. It takes a lot of commitment and staying in focus. I love my life and I want to enjoy it longer. I still have a lot to look forward in the future. It is not only my responsibility to take care of myself for me and for people I deeply care about. It is also what God wants me to do with this precious life that He has given me. My take on this is, if I don't take care of my health, then who else will????