Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Choice I Made

Recently I've found myself having to make a seemingly very difficult decision in life. As I have heard many times, life is sometimes too tough and often throws us challenges which are too difficult for us to handle. So we try to avoid it, try to push it aside, never confront it or put it at the back of our mind and deal with it later. This was what happened to me a few days ago. I was faced with a situation where I had to make a life changing decisions. The more I try to avoid facing the challenge, the more it creates a problem for me and making it hard for me to make a smart and quick decision which was very important at that point. I spent countless hours thinking about it, contemplating all of the options, and trying to sort out all of the complex emotions that go along with the decision I had to make. I made pro and con lists, took a long drive, wrote down my feelings until I could come to a place where I could be comfortable with the decision that I have to make. The question that was bugging me those times was, how can I be sure that it is the right decision, and how can I possibly understand the outcome of something that is as unpredictable as life itself? The result---I got sick! Too much pressure and stress made my stomach upset and I didn't sleep one whole night. I felt miserable. I got exhausted and drained. I thought I was worn out. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. There was nothing I felt like doing.

The truth is, I really believe that there should be no rushing or shortcuts in making life changing decisions. And there is no right or wrong way to make a decision, and despite my attempt to predict the outcome, there are so many variables in my life that it was nearly impossible to know where my path will take me. But I knew I had to make a decision. I knew at that moment that the only thing I can do is make the best decision I knew how to make at the time. Making a decision can be a difficult process, especially if you are dealing with a situation that is affecting you mentally and emotionally.

I decided to confront my dilemma. Whatever gives me more happiness and peace of mind, I have to take it. I told myself that if I end up hurting someone, I need to see if I can make up for that. Its never possible to make everyone happy, so I have to see what and how much other people make a difference in my life to figure out the decision I have to make.

Indeed its not until we deal with the challenge that is facing us and make decisions about it that true liberation and the possibility to change our reality arises. Support of families, friends and love ones also plays a very vital role in helping us go through the process. I am very blessed to have family and friends who let me know they are always there for me and a love and partner who always understands and supports me in anything that I am going through in my life.

I finally made one of the hardest decisions that I ever had. It is an awesome liberation when I think about it because it means that the outcome of my choices or decision is not really that important. What's important is unveiling another aspect of who I am, what I am and what is really more important to me at this point. I believe, life is all about making choices, we get to choose one among the many, and the one we choose defines our future and destiny..


Debbie said...

nice description of the process of choosing. Blessings on the journey which follows the choice

Yannie said...

Wow!!! I love this post!

Recently I have posted about my ailment, "Fighting Against PWP."

I really find hard to decide because I worry a lot about of the possible consequences I may face and hurting someone.

Your post is a great help.

Amie said...

Dearest Marianne, I am so happy this post helped you in some ways. It is neat to know that we have touched each other's life even if we haven't met in person yet...sail on girl!!